Day Game by Todd Valentine is a video series on how to meet and approach women during the day.
- Go in with a mentality of making things happen right there right then
- Spend some time talking and spend time AFTER you exchange phone number
- Take some pressure off saying “I want you to come and a have a drink with me at some point”
Day Game Todd Summary
About The Author: Todd Valentine has been a dating coach for a long time now. He started with Real Social Dynamics (RSD) and then eventually branched out on his own after a rumored fallout with Tyler, one of RSD’s founder.
I personally find Todd to be head and shoulder over most material produced by Real Social Dynamics (which often aren’t “real” at all).
A quick note on the type of product: I always recommend to get the full product if you find the summary interesting, and it’s especially true in this case as Todd presents lots of videos as examples.
Take The Pressure Off : Criteria For Success
Todd Valentine says that in many daygame scenarios you won’t have time to warm up, so accept that not every interaction will be great.
He says you should learn to be forgiving of yourself, get the mentality you are going to make a girl happy at the worst case scenario.
Your criteria for success should be that you did it and did the best you can independently of the result.
I loved it when Todd said you should be “outcome dependent”, but your outcome is doing it and do the best you can, not “winning”.
If doing the best you can means being a stuttering mumbling idiot during the first moments, be it.
Plan Daygame In Your Life
Toss suggests to do a minimum of three approaches per day and to go go out earlier for your appointment so that you have some time to scout around. Also you should know your area so that you know where to go for an instant date.
Decie Your Goal Ahead Of Time
Todd Valentine suggests you decide beforehand if you want quick phone numbers, 10 mins of chat and a phone number or go on a date right away.
What Makes A Man Attractive
Todd Valentine goes into what what makes a man, which is:
- social proof
- knowing the dance of seduction
- entitlement and assertiveness
Entitlement and assertiveness mean that you believe you deserve things in life, stand up for yourself, talk in a loud tone of voice, voice your opinion even if they’re unpopular and you’re OK with being the center of attention.
This sounded a bit like the typical “alpha male recommendations“.
Loud is good… Up to a certain point. And same goes for center of attention, albeit Todd does not say to be at the center of attention but being OK with it, which is true.
Another attractive behavior, Todd says, is self-amusement. Self-amusement means that you enjoy yourself and enjoy what you say independently of whether or not the girl you’re talking to might like it.
How To Start A Conversation
Todd says that mentality is the most important aspect.
The first few minutes you should assume that you have to bear the burden of taking things forward and make the conversation snowball.
Lower your standard, don’t worry a perfect conversation and focus fully on the girl and be present in the moment.
Todd Valentine says that you should trust you’re a great man, that the bar is not very high and that whatever you say is better than average anyway.
The author suggests to speak loudly: if you try not to be awkward you’ll be awkward. Todd says you should focus on having a good interaction, not on her liking you, and keep talking at the beginning no matter what (remember: the burden is on you).
How To Make Her Like You
Todd Valentine says you should have the mentality that you need to risk to get a reward: you can’t stay in the polite conversation witohut going anywhere.
To get the hook Todd says you:
- Self amuse: enjoy the interaction in itself. You will find that when you’re in a particularly good mood or loving your life, it’ll work.
- FRED (focus, relevance, emotion, decision)
- Push – pull ; neg;
- Force-qualification : for example, she says something and you say “ah that’s cool, I wasn’t too sure about you, but now you seem cool”
I found one bit particularly interesting.
Todd says than when she’s really into a topic, rather than going deeper into it like most guys would do, change topic saying “we’ll talk about that later”, and when she tells you “nono please let’s keep talking about it”, she just cemented herself into chasing you.
Those high times can be exploited.
I don’t fully agree with this. If she’s really into you maybe, maybe she’ll say “please let’s keep talking about it”.
But it’s more likely she won’t say anything and just thing you’re either weird or couldn’t care less about her.
How To Get Physical
Todd Valentine says you always change her mood, not her mind.
And always be escalating. When it doesn’t go well, back off.
Never escalate just to touch.
How To Get A Solid Number
Todd says that you never go in to “get a number” or you are pandering your ego.
The idea of a phone number is that: you two like each other but it’s just so impossible to do it right now so you plan for later.
The 5 minutes AFTER the phone number are the most critical because after the number you are not strangers anymore but you are planning to meet.
Todd says that you’d rather have 2 mins conversation and 5 mins after the number than 30 mins and then rushing after the number.
And when you ask, expect to get it.
How To Do An Instant Date
Todd Valentine says that the first rule is: Just ask.
Make it very casual and very normal and part of the interaction. Not a big deal.
And you can assess her reaction even before you actually finish the sentence.
If you’re getting a no, think might be because of safety concerns. In which case, just say
“it’s safe, and if you want to leave you can leave at any time and I help you to come back here”.
“we’ll go somewhere lovely and if you don’t love it then you can leave. And it doesn’t really matter either way because I’m having a good time and that’s what really matters”
Escalation To Sex
Here are a few tips from Todd to escalate to sex back at home:
- -Patience once you get back home and let her chill out a bit
- -Use intermediate locations, such as the kitchen before you get back to the bedroom
- -block both her hands with one of your hand and use the other one to escalate, the moment her hand start resisting, let go
- -pre-emptive sex: when things get heated, take a break
- -keep her panties on for a while than you’d normally go for as it allows her to feel aroused without feeling in danger
A few of the exercises I liked most from him are:
- 10 reasons why you’re the best thing which can happen to her;
- 5 things you wanna see in her ;
- 1 week thinking only positive ;
- 1 week don’t qualify yourself ;
- 1 week of certainty in language (yes, no and stick to a decision. And if you don’t know say I need more time but I’ll get back right at you)
- Talk to groups in the street to get in the mindset that having a conversation is normal